Those $2,000 stimulus checks were a load of bull. Surprise!

Ol’ Joe Biden sure loves austerity. After all, excessive government spending is something Democrats have always rallied against.

Wait… That’s not true!

Limiting government spending is a GOP platitude. They’re never serious about it — and they’re only ever appalled over how loose the government’s wallet is whenever a democrat becomes president — but that didn’t stop Joe from gobbling up their bait.

To be fair, Biden is little more than a useful idiot. He either naively believes that reaching across the aisle is still viable or he’s so deep…

A few months ago, I wrote about five pitfalls to avoid making in the early chapters of your novel.

Fiction writing tends to have millions of guidelines yet very few “rules.” However, agents, publishers, and even readers tend to evaluate the early parts of a book with a higher level of scrutiny. As a stalwart writer, you never want to look at industry professionals or potential fans as one-and-done collaborators. The easiest route to success lies in creating long-term relationships.

The mistakes, tropes, and other questionable choices I highlighted in the previous article are no greater or less than the…

Anatomy of a blue bird

Twitter — like most of social media — is at its heart, a promotional medium. Whether you have a physical product, a concept, or something as general as a vibe, we’re all out there trying to sell something.

Despite the bad reputation it’s developed over the past half-decade, I still enjoy the platform. Twitter is a convenient medium for chatting with friends, having a few laughs, or selling a unit or two of your product, all in 280 characters or fewer — along with images, articles, and GIFs.

But for every person like myself, who uses the app in a…

When did solutions stop mattering in politics?

After weeks of chaos and nonsense, it’s really starting to look like President Trump will finally drift away in January, alongside the cold weather. Even though a lot of people are looking forward to this development, only a fraction know what they want from the new administration.

While plenty of Americans will bask in the quiet created by a more reserved president, Biden will take advantage of the calm by enacting policies that appease his donors despite them not aligning with the will of the people. But even these half-measures will be hindered by a Republican-heavy Congress.

This is where…

Newly minted Supreme Court Justice, Amy Coney Barrett is extremely cognizant of the high unemployment numbers brought on by the pandemic. However, unlike her notoriously lax predecessor, this legit legal lady is interested in getting Americans back to work.

And just like how her mentor, President Trump, brought dying jobs such as coal miner and wind turbine deconstructionist back from the abyss, Justice Barrett will also revive long forgotten vocations. Here are just some of the jobs she — and her mighty 6–3 majority — plans to resuscitate for the betterment of our country.

Back-alley abortionist

This niche medical position has been…

A New Yorker staffer recently had a “wardrobe malfunction” on a Zoom call that included members of the senior staff and other hand-picked insiders. To be fair, that array of decorated guests was ensconced in a witty sojourn of election play-acting when reporter Jeffery Toobin whipped out his junk. But that’s hardly a reason to overlook a prime example of the type of subversive satire that has become the cornerstone of their august publication.

Everyone on the virtual conference call had a part to play that fateful afternoon. Evan Osnos played the stalwart Joe Biden while Russian reporter Masha Gessen…

A vital resource in your writing journey

Your manuscript is important to you — as it should be. It’s a project you’ve devoted your free time and effort to in hopes that it will one day become a book capable of touching the lives of many. Because of this, the overall quality of your work should be your greatest concern. There are multiple, often time-consuming, steps in the editing process, but one of the earliest and most significant involves getting your semi-polished manuscript into the hands of several beta readers.

The first draft and beyond

First drafts are often written with a pinpoint focus on the five big picture elements of a…

News Alterations

The story that didn’t happen (1)

Hasbro recalls Trolls Doll because it promotes grooming children for sexual abuse and trafficking.

Concerned parents discovered a non-advertised button on Hasbro’s “Trolls World Tour Giggle and Sing Poppy” doll. Unlike the button on her stomach that makes her talk, this hidden button is located beneath her skirt, right where a human’s private parts would be.

A Change.org petition — which has surpassed 300,000 signatures — claims the sick and twisted button, which causes Poppy to gasp when pressed, is an attempt by Hasbro and/or Hollywood to normalize paedophilia, grooming, and child trafficking.

The story that actually happened (1)

You had me up to the petition…